Unhappy...blame...sad...blame....self loathe...blame... hmm....I'm seeing a pattern here. Don't worry, I'm not saying I'm blaming you! I've had some major changes in my life lately and I have to admit, I haven't handled them gracefully.
Two months ago I moved from California, where I've lived for all 31 years of my life, to Massachussetts, a place that I barely knew anything about. What I did know was that my boyfriend, a few friends, a great job opportunity, and a chance to have the picture perfect life that I always dreamed of was waiting for....haha...so I thought!
Laura, Laura, Laura...at this age you need to start realize that nothing is perfect. Yeah, yeah, yeah..I know...so why do I keep putting this pressure on myself to "live perfect"?
I have created this image of what the perfect Laura should be and in struggling to reach this ridiculously high standard that I've created for myself I've put a major strain on my relationship and am constantly dissapointed in myself. I don't like who I am because I'm not the Laura that I'm "supposed to be".
Well this is about to change! Of course these feelings and expectations aren't just going to melt away over night but from now on I'm making it a priority to accept who I am and appreciate what I have. I shouldn't be unhappy because I'm not perfect....I should be greatful because I have an amazing life. I am surrounded by amazing people, I have a fabulous job that I love, and a partner who tells me that he loves me every single day.
One of my goals in this self transformation is to document the process. I want to be able to hold myself accountable for my actions and document the process of self discovery and self acceptance. Please feel free to tag along on this journey with me. It will be difficult, exciting, and hopefully fun.
i opened my google reader this morning, and i was like, "what is this "inspiration" blog? i haven't ever seen this?"
ReplyDelete...or so i thought! :)
its been too long! glad you are back to blogging and i look forward to following your journey!
Laura - I love your authentic voice. It takes a huge amount of courage to face the realization that we are the only ones getting in our own way. It's so much easier to blame our partners, our job, our finances, our apartments, or our friends for all that we think we lack.
ReplyDeleteI applaud your decision not only to face the hungry ghost of perfection, but to document your journey and hold yourself publicly accountable. That takes even more guts! Sometimes blogging feels a little bit like those dreams where you're running through life naked.
Soon though, you'll start to settle into your skin and relish the fresh air and sunshine on your face.
You'll still be naked, but vulnerability will gradually be replaced with a quiet strength and an inner fire that no one else can squelch.
looking forward to being a part of your journey. often times our imperfections are what equal perfection! so lovely to know you. :)
ReplyDelete